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I recently read an article from Carlos Xuma talking about dating inner game – and the fears and problems that go along with dating, in general, for BOTH men and women. The interesting this is, the fears and problems that men and women have with dating are similar – but not the same, just as what attracts women to men is not the same as what attracts men to women.

When it all boils down, it seems that most of the biggest fears men have are centered around (whether they know it or not) being a capable alpha male, having an alpha personality while women’s are centered around being an able and acceptable mate. (Now, ladies, don’t bludgeon me to death – what I mean is women seem to be more worries about being found acceptable and finding emotional common-ground than men are!)

Here is the list of the 5 biggest fears for Men and Women in dating:

WOMEN’S BIGGEST DATING FEARS:
1. She is not physically or sexually attractive to him (Acceptance)
2. She is not able to foster an emotional connection with him (Retention)
3. She will not get a commitment from him (Retention)
4. She will lose an emotional connection if she DOES connect with him (Retention)
5. She will be left behind for another woman (Retention)

MEN’S BIGGEST DATING FEARS:
1. He will experience rejection or embarrassment (He does not understand what attracts women to men)
2. He will give up his freedom if he does form a connection (He does not understand the alpha personality)
3. He will be seen as unsuccessful or unable to provide for her (alpha male Fears)
4. He will not satisfy her sexually (alpha male Fears)
5. He will not understand her emotions (He does not understand the alpha personality)

So, in looking at these dating fears, we can see a big difference in what men and women think – and we can also see that fear in dating is perfectly natural, and prevalent on BOTH sides of the coin.

Men seem to fear being inadequate in more ways than one – not being able to fulfill her sexual needs, not being able to attract her pr provide for her, not understanding the woman-speak of emotions and emotional needs. Men’s fears seem to center more around alpha behaviors – attracting her, sexually satisfying her, etc – and whether or not they will be able to fulfill these portions of the “dating contract”. If men understood the characteristics of the alpha personality, they would alleviate MANY of these fears easily.

Women, on the other hand, seem to be more afraid of acceptance and retention of a mate – such as not being attractive (thus not selected), not being able to get a commitment, losing her connection, etc. these fears center more around her ability to keep the man she attracts rather than the initial attraction. If a woman understood the concepts of what attracts women to men and vice-versa, they would feel better about this as well.

If you look closely, though, it really seems to fit the same old stereo-type – women need emotional security and men need to feel they can complete the role of the leader and provider.

Go figure!

So – what is one great dating tip that can help EITHER sex take a deep breath and flow more positively and confidently into the role they want? Carlos Xuma calls it “Pause Conditioning”.

Interesting. What he means is this – in the moment that you are in – in the moment of interaction where you feel yourself responding to a stimulus with a knee-jerk reaction that reflects a defensive or unconscious response….

PAUSE.

Here are some examples for men….

-You approach a woman and she does not acknowledge your presence immediately.
What do you do? Do you get immediately embarrassed and walk away and ignore her, or do you…pause…take a deep breath and realize that perhaps she needs a greater attractive opening than you have given her? Perhaps you need to change your approach a little, tweak it to succeed.
-You order a drink for a woman but she seems to only accept it because she is being polite.
What do you do? Do you tell her see you later and walk away with your face on fire? Or do you change your game up a bit and start on the Cocky Comedy and try to spark the attraction?
-You have a sexual experience with a woman and she does not seem fulfilled.
What do you do? Do you never call her again because you are embarrassed, or do you dive in with gusto, taking charge, listening to her body language and showing her passion and the male dominance that women crave in the bedroom?

Keep in mind, men, that if you were to educate yourself about alpha male characteristics, you could blow these fears out of the water easily!

Here are a few examples for women….

-You are with a guy and he looks at another woman.
Do you immediately call him a snake and smack him with your purse, or get angry? Or do you realize that men are visual creatures, take a deep breath and pull out a few attractive tricks of your own from your personal arsenal?
-You feel your man is withdrawn and pulling away.
Do you get clingy and needy trying to evoke his protective response, or do you lean back a little and allow him to come to you when he is ready?
-You are flirting with a guy and he starts coming on to you sexually
Do you respond in kind because you really like him, or do you re-asses your situation and realize that just maybe immediate gratification is not what you NEED in a relationship?

For any of these situations, and a million more that come up in everyday life, if you can train yourself to PAUSE and take a few moments to reflect before you react, you will train yourself to think before you act, and to take actions, then, that are MUCH more along the lines of what YOU want to accomplish in your life.

This goes for dating, relationships, and ANY arena that you are involved in. For men, this is a KEY alpha-male characteristics, leading to calm, logical decisions and not knee-jerk fight or flight responses. For women, it is the same – alpha-female characteristics that lead to mature, lasting relationships full of love with a man who realizes that he has a rare gem on his hands.

You have ‘energy’ that you are not aware of or simply not using them to your own advantage.

You see, your energy is that which composes your very essence, from your spirit to your physical body, penetrating all of your senses and encapsulating your mind and emotions.

Believe it or not, you have full control of your own energy at all times. Most of us have not learned to control it, and many of us are so undisciplined that we never will. It is possible, however, to learn perfect control, so that your life is a living reflection of exactly what you choose to hold in your energy.

And a good way to get started is by learning some higher forms of energy practices and exercises which include meditation.

This is the bare essence of what you must put into practice in order to begin taking control of your energy.

Simply put, meditation is learning the ability to simply be, to sit with yourself, mentally silent, and be one with yourself in the present moment without any thoughts, worries, judgments or expectations.

At the same time, I do want to be honest with you that it’ll take awhile to work through the constant mental chatter that characterizes your daily mindset. You will have to learn to let that fizzle out at first, becoming accustomed to the feeling of mental silence. Later you will be able to quickly stop your mental ramblings whenever you choose.

Learning pure one-sided focus is the next step in developing yourself.

By learning to concentrate on one thing for extended periods of time, you will begin to truly grasp the workings of the spiritual power, Law of Attraction.

One-sided focus will allow you to manifest faster, which will begin to point out to you the fact that you are manifesting your reality, both the good and the bad, at all times. This will allow you to begin making better decisions about what you think and emote about, ultimately changing your thought patterns from a mix of positive and negative to a more perfected positive frequency.

Raising energy allows you to feel more alive, to actually pull more energy into your being for use in your perceptions, activities and daily rituals. You will be less tired, less negative, and more spiritual when you fill up with this powerful light energy. Raising energy is usually accomplished in a state of meditation, but once familiar with the sensations and habits of raising energy, it can actually be done anytime with ease.

As you can see, the technique to meditate obviously goes beyond the scope of today’s article but what I want you to learn is the power of meditation to increase your positive energy.

So by learning to halt your mind rather than be controlled by it, as well as accepting a more proactive role in learning to be in the present moment, you will begin to accomplish control over what energy you put into your experience.

Then perfecting your focus will allow you to manifest even more quickly, and raising energy will bring a more positive focus into your life. When using these important skills together for an extended period of time, you will come to the point where negativity is entirely wiped out of your life.

Once this is accomplished, you’ll see how applying Law Of Attraction would be much easier.

The Law of Attraction works by using your desires and emotions to empower the manifestation of what you want. For specific goals, such as a new car, this can be a simple task. However, how do you get emotionally invested in broader goals, like attracting success?

There are things you can do, other than visualization exercises, to assist you in attracting success. In fact, once you get good at this, you will begin a snowball effect whereby everything you touch seems to turn to gold.

Let’s look at how to begin attracting success into your life now…

First off, the Law of Attraction is basically a law that states that the universe must bend to match your inner state. The outer world is merely an expression of your inner world. Therefore, in order to begin attracting success, you need to become more success-oriented in your mental life.

In this way, you are not sitting down and attempting to visualize this all-generic term of success, but instead are making it real in several instances of your life.

“Success” is not exciting.

Winning a game you’re playing is far more exciting.

The idea of climbing to the top of the business ladder and becoming your own boss is exciting.

The idea of having all of your dreams fulfilled, your dream house, car, etc, is exciting.

Through these individual instances of success, you empower the totality of your success intent.

The more you work at making this habitual thinking, the more energy you will put into it. Small successes will begin to come your way – relish each of them. They will build into bigger and better successes, and this snowball effect will eventually take you, like a surfer on a powerful wave, straight into the life that you currently desire.

Remember to exercise your visualization and daydreaming powers with the smaller things first – success in business, success in love, success in games, success in finding friendships… all of the little things add up to quite a large sum.

Last but not least, to become successful, begin acting as though you were already successful. This inner experience will send out vibes to the universe saying that you are already successful, and more success will follow. Good luck, and may you succeed at whatever you do.

FREE GIFT: Controversial one hour audio interview with John Harricharan, author of PowerPause reveals the unknown secret of using spirituality power to attract wealth and success. Get it for free.

Ever wondered why some people are more successful than others?

Certain people seem to rise to the top, no matter what the odds, whereas others just remain at the bottom. Much of this is due to a difference in mindset. The successful people have a mindset for success. They refuse to stop and are determined to succeed.

Here Are 4 Tips to Cultivate Your Successful Mindset:

1. It is all about attitude: If you think of succeeding you will succeed. When you start your day, try not to allow wrong thoughts to clutter your mind.

Think about succeeding in your daily activities, not what might happen if certain things go wrong. If you dwell upon what may go wrong there is a good chance that this will indeed happen. However if you get out of bed with a good feeling and challenge yourself to think how to solve your problems it is very likely that you will be successful.

2. Never quit: Be determined to succeed no matter what. It is this purpose that will make you successful. When you are determined to succeed you will be able to face and overcome many obstacles in life and business. This attitude is what has enabled many millionaires and billionaires to achieve success.

3. Think positive thoughts: The very beginning of successful thinking is thinking in a direct way. Dwell on the good things in your life and do not continuously think about all the bad things that are happening to you. However bad things are there is always a ray of hope somewhere and it is up to you to find it.

4. Set goals for success and act on them: It is very influential to have success goals. These are goals that when you act on them will bring you success in life and business. If you have crushing problems, think of how you can solve them, instead of being trapped under them.

Make goals to improve your situation and resolve issues instead of sitting there worrying about them. Once you do this then you can think of ways to achieve your goals. One of the main things to remember is not to procrastinate. Think, plan and do the successful mindset that will force you upwards not hold you back.

A successful person is one who has not only accomplished many of his or her goals in life but is prepared to go even further. He or she daily sets new goals for higher acquirement and gets the most out of life.

Success means many things and is different for every person. It is often an elusive dream for many but in reality it can be accomplished, simply by having the will and wishes to succeed.

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The Law of Attraction and The Master Key System

Human Energy Field Instructional Videos

The Law of Attraction
In 1913, Charles F. Haanel first introduced a very special course called The Master Key System. This 24 week course has been the basis for many now-famous seminars, books like like Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich” and motion pictures like ”The Moses Code”. The Master Key System is considered to be the grand-daddy of all self-improvement courses and it introduced the widely popular concept of the Law of Attraction. The Universal Law of Attraction really does work, but it is also widely misunderstood.

Our Link To The Universe
One of the basic ideas in the course concerns the nature of the mind and it’s relation to the universe. Haanel taught that human beings are linked to the universe through the unconscious mind. A better term is the non-conscious mind because in our today’s world unconscious has taken a connotation that implies something less than the conscious mind. That is certainly not Haanel’s viewpoint. The Law of Attraction functions as a result of the relationship between the non-conscious mind and the universe. Haanel also taught that the role of the conscious mind is to stear the non-conscious mind in the right direction… primarily through the power of visualization. So let’s take a look at how that can work at a practical level.

If you want to own a building, you can’t just say ”I intend to build a building.” and that makes the building to suddenly manifest out of thin air. Nobody believes that would ever really happen, but that way of thinking represents a common misunderstanding of the Law of Attraction. Instead you manifest the building in your mind in detail using designs and blueprints. This visualization is given power by the force of the emotions as you get excited about the project that is mentally manifesting. That motivates the non-conscious parts of the mind which, in turn, interact with the universe to create… or attract… the different things that are needed to actually manifest the physical building. This way of doing things seems intuitive, and The Master Key System provides a systematic theory and series of exercises that help individuals really make it happen.

Why Does The Law of Attraction Fail Sometimes?
Even so, there are some people who always seem to be able to make happen what they want and others that seem to have difficultly making anything happen. Why is that? For an answer we have to look more deeply into the esoteric theories of the both human energy field and how subtle energy manifests into the world of matter.

Human beings are always in communication with each other and the universe through what ayurvedic theory calls the nadis. In fact, the nadis are the playing field for the Law of Attraction. So, extremely subtle energetic information flows back and forth through the nadis. At a slightly grosser manifestation level, information flows in the mental energy body. That is the realm of ideas and visualization. So, when you visualize the building, the mental body is where the action is taking place. At a still more dense level the information flows in the emotional energy body. That, of course, is the playing field of the emotions. And at a still grosser manifestation, the information moves in the physical energy body, which can be thought of as a mold for the actual physical body.

Each of the individual chakras functions in all of these energy bodies communicating specific types (or frequencies) of information throughout the entire energetic field. The information is stored in the extraordinary meridians and communicated throughout the physical body by the main meridians. In this manner, each organ and tissue receives the correct instructions for how it is to work. Acupuncture and chakra balancing emphasize the important of balance in the energy field. Things don’t work right if there is imbalance anywhere, because imbalance means that the information being communicated either doesn’t get to the right places or gets there in a distorted form. The mis-information can occur anywhere in the human energetic system and can cause dysfunction in the physical world, the emotions, the mental world, or in the nadis.

The Secret In the Human Energy Field
Since The Law of Attraction’s visualization functions in the mental energy body, it’s motivating emotional force functions in the emotional energy body, it’s non-conscious communication with the universe functions in the nadis, and actual manifestation takes place in the physical energy body, the implication is that if the human energy field is in a state of imbalance and creating erroneous information, the Law of Attraction will not function properly. If the information exchanged with the universe through the nadis is incorrect, how can The Law of Attraction satisfactorily yield results?

And remember that in energetic healing, distortions in the human energy system can be permanent unless they are cleaned. That might cause permanent dysfunction in the Law of Attraction. The key to The Law of Attraction working is a cleaned and balanced energy field.

As you set out to create success in your life, you are using the Law of Attraction, regardless of if you know it or not.

Setting a goal and reaching it may seem to be a straight forward process, but we often run into blockages or setbacks on the way to the goal.

It is how we deal with these bumps in the road that will determine the level of success.

Some people seem to breeze through to their dreams, while others let hardships stop them from ever reaching their goals.

“Do some people have a natural tendency for persistence while others are easily distracted from their goals?”

To create something new in life it is fist necessary to have the desire. It is at this point that many people lose focus. They think that they need everything under the sun to create the perfect life. Having too long a list of goals makes it hard to reach any of them.

Once you can zero in on two to three goals, you can put a plan if action into place to achieve them.

Also important at this step is to be sure that your goals excite you. persistence can be easywhen you have the positive energy that working toward something that you really want provides.

The next step is to take the consistent actions that will bring you to your goals.

This is where it can be easy to fail. You may decide that the target you set for yourself was too high, or that the sacrifices you have to make are too great.

What all this boils down to is resistance. You find yourself resisting the very things that you are trying to achieve.

Excuses, like “I’m too tired” or “No one else has to do this” can sabotage your intentions.

“How do some people make it look so easy?”

Chances are they have worked on not resisting anything that they have to do to create success.

“Are you a winner or a whiner?”‘

We all have seen whiners in action. Every little inconvenience is blown out of proportion. Their motto seems to be “Why me? Why do I have to do this?”

This type of attitude is not going to translate into creating success.

When distractions and setbacks roll off you like water off a duck’s back, you are in the right space for manifesting success.

You will encounter what seem like detours, and setbacks, but these are the challenges that you have to face in order to manifest your desires. Things the at first may seem like detours are often the paths to something greater than you imagined.

When you what something in life you have to earn it. If you want a great body, you have to put in the time to work out. You’ll feel great when you reach your goals because you will know all the things that you had to overcome to get there.

You will have paid the price of admission to your new life. Learn more about resistance and how to stop it, and begin attracting your true desires.

When it comes down to fully utilizing to the Law of Attraction, just reading the books is often not enough.

You can read a book telling you how to drive a car, or how to play golf, but that does not replace the role of a golf or driving instructor.

Your learning is accelerated when you have someone able to guide you. You can learn how to use your vibrational resonance to attract anything and everything you wish. It may seem abstract at the moment, but this is absolutely what determines your experience of reality. So, to the extent that you can modify your vibration, you can modify your experience of reality.

If you have watched the movie “The Secret”, you have heard of the teacher of the Law of Attraction Bob Doyle.

I discovered more about him as I learned more about the different teachers featured in “The Secret”.

Last year Bob Doyle created a 45 day challenge social network on ning, allowing people from all walks of life and around the world to share their goals and intentions.

I was one of the many participants. It was great to instantly meet and connect with people around the world working on applying the Law of Attraction to their lives.

I felt that even though I didn’t reach every goal that I had set for myself, the ones that I did reach helped me to improve my life greatly. It was also nice to share my aspirations with others in a friendly and supportive environment.

The 45 day challenge social network quickly evolved into a fun and active community of people all striving for positive change in their lives.

It fostered a real connection to Bob Doyle, who made himself open and available to all the members by sharing the progress of his own challenge goals.

He was working on playing music in public, and as a musician I could relate to his nervousness. He enlisted the help of some of the coaches his company uses for one to one coaching sessions, and the use of the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT).

The EFT techniques that were shared via tele-seminars and later available though recordings of the calls, were a great deal of fun to be a part of and very enlightening. He ended the challenge with a get together in Atlanta where he preformed, showing us all how fears can be overcome.

Bob Doyle has taught many people how to use the Law of Attraction in their lives and create what they desire though his online courses: Wealth Beyond Reason and Six Figure Income Streams.

He is currently launching his “Wealth Beyond Reason 2.0″, which features a new look and feel for teaching the Law of Attraction. With this course you will be able to pinpoint the areas were you are resisting attracting what you desire. Check out his introduction to the course and learn about what Wealth Beyond Reason can do for your life!

I like to mix technical with the spiritual or mental, yes even in internet marketing and businesses, why?

because it might be just what is missing when we fail.

What if the mindset is the key to the outcome of whatever we want in our business and in our life?

Goal settings are the word in everyones mouth today, but is it enough to set goals and write them down?

It is important to write them down yes, and to take actions toward them.

But what is very important is to visualise your goals also, live them with the feeling that would be yours when the goal is reached.

The feeling associated with the vision is the catalyseur.

Run your movie in your mind where you are the star player, we have this faculty to run our own movies in our mind. Often we use this system only to see the worst outcome, but if we just take care of running only movies that bring out the best results and bring our goals into reality, would that be worth trying?

To take few minutes every day and live our goals can and will make a huge differences in our life.

It can be difficult when things are bad to keep a vision of our goals but it can make the whole difference. Imagine playing, as when you were a child, children have their imagninary world, imaginary friends, they are good at this when they are young.

A lot have been written about how to attract miracles and reach your goals last years but is it right, does it work?

What about “miracles”, is it possible to attract miracles at will and get what you want in life?

Did you know that 23 scientific studies show that we can help each other attract what we want?

I was surprised when I first heard about his, but over the last 50 years independently verified studies have shown that small groups of people holding intentions have lowered crime, ended wars and improve the economy in their area.

It’s fascinating to learn how much proof there is that this works.

It takes just a group of 8,185 to affect the world’s population, there’s a formula that determines how large a group needs to be to affect the population !

The reason I’m telling you about this is because now there is a new website by Dr. Joe Vitale devoted to helping to gather together more than 8,185 people to attract miracles.

Each member can ask for miracles, and the entire group can hold the intention for much larger miracles, too.

It is logic to think that it is much easier to reach the results that you want if a group of people are focused on your intentions.

Dr. Joe Vitale before, he’s the bestselling author of The Attractor Factor and many other books.

We all could use miracles right now in our lives.

How to attract miracles

Read also about emotional freedom technique.

Gratitude or appreciation of what we already have is very important in the manifestation process. If we want to attract things we desire we must have feelings of gratitude, so every day when you wake up try to be thankful and think about the good things in your live you should be thankful for.

To begin using the Law of Gratitude and the Law of Attraction to work for us in positive ways, we must take control of our lives and understand how to best use this power we all have within us.

Learn More about the Law of Attraction

We cannot express true gratitude without feeling emotionally grateful. Being thankful for everything that comes to us is to accept our lives as they are, realizing that everything that has come to us is because we created it. It could be hard to accept our responsibility, but without accepting it we can’t start positively changing our lives. Although it may not have been our conscious intent, but we created our lives. It is much easier to understand for people who also know the law of karma or the law of action and reaction.

We must appreciate what we have, so let’s appreciate our jobs (even if we don’t like them). We should feel gratitude for a place to live (there are many people who don’t have a place to live). We should be grateful for some food, some friends or anything else that we possess. A lot of people don’t have enough even basic things like food, water and their own place to live.

It’s natural that you want more, that you want to improve your standard of life, but first you need to feel gratitude for what you already have.

The Law of Attraction and Gratitude

Sometimes gratitude comes in steps. Making a list of things you are thankful for being in your life helps you to create a more positive energy within you. It also helps to begin surrounding yourself with people that are upbeat and positive.

Apart of expressing gratitude, making positive affirmation statements can speed up manifestation process.

When you begin making affirmation statements to yourself, you will begin to manifest a life of happiness and abundance by being grateful. Begin telling yourself that you are grateful for having money in your life. This will affirm things that are already present in your life and create more of it. Even if you only have a dollar to your name, expressing gratitude for this money will begin to bring more of the same.

By reflecting positive affirmations of gratitude, you begin to change your inner world to one of lighter, higher vibration energy. Then the Law of Attraction will answer this by changing your outer world to reflect your inner, positive state of mind.

The Mind works in two ways, on conscious and subconscious level. When we think about something it is impressed on the subconscious mind which acts on the thought. If the thought is not concentrated it simply dissipates into energy. Thoughts like everything are energy.

However, when the thought is concentrated, which means that we focus on something for a longer period of time or often with emotions and imagination, things can really start to manifest.
This may sound corny, or too simple of an idea, but this is the way the universe works. Old thought patterns that we have established over time can be easy to slip back into again. When changing our life in positive ways, staying on course with an attitude of gratitude can seem difficult. In time, this new pattern establishes itself and becomes you.

Learn More about the Law of Attraction

Gratitude and the Law of Attraction work to create abundance in your life, even when you do not know how this principle works. Knowing how this principle works is to be using the Law of Attraction to actively create a life that is truly prosperous and in harmony with the universe. Gratitude or appreciation of what we already have is necessary to attract things we want.

Law of Attraction and Gratitude Information

The Law of Attraction is not just a metaphysical idea; it is also a theory that has been proven to work. Science has discovered through quantum physics that there is a very real law of nature, bringing back to use what we think about.

Every day when you wake up try to be thankful. Think about the good things in your live you should be thankful for.
Appreciate your job (even if you don’t like it). Feel gratitude for a place to live. If you have some food, some friends or anything else you can find to appreciate, appreciate it. A lot of people don’t have enough even basic things like food, water and their own place to live. It’s natural that you want more, that you want to improve your standard of life, but first you need to feel gratitude for what you already have.

We create our lives through our thoughts and feelings being answered. What we send out is returned back to us in kind. This is the science of manifestation at work.

People that live out their lives experiencing poverty and scarcity usually will broadcast these needy expressions in negative ways. Like attracts like, therefore, the universal consciousness that we are all a part of sends back to us more of the same. Just as positive affirmations and states of mind return to us the same. This helps to answer why some of us believe that our glass is half empty, and others experience their glass as half full.

Manifestation and Gratitude Resources

If you start your day with feelings of gratitude you will feel good and you can keep that feeling all day.

But you should also write down something like this: “I am so happy and grateful that…” and then write what you would like to have. For example: “I am very happy and grateful that I make $1 million per year; that I have wonderful and loving wife…etc.” Use the present tense, visualize the things you want, be grateful for them, and think about them as already yours. When you achieve them, you can add new things to your list. When you write about money, start first with amount you believe is possible and then increase the amount when you got the amount you’d written down. Be specific.

When you start doing as described above, at first you might feel strange that you are using present tense for the things you want to have in the future, but it’s important to train your mind and force your mind to think about them in present tense. After some time of playing such “mental ping pong” your mind will obey and will help you to achieve the things you want.

It is important to be consistent with expressing gratitude. Expressing the gratitude writing every day in a notebook is very helpful.

Law of Attraction and Gratitude Information